I could tell you all about what’s gone on in our marriage up til now but no one probably cares 🙂 Suffice to say Dan took a lot longer to come around to wanting children than I did (don’t they all) so it was 2007 before he was finally willing to do away with birth control. Casually TTC for a while, got diagnosed with major depression and went back on bc for a while (that’s a whole other story) and not so casually TTC since august 08. Went through some testing throughout 09. I had the usual blood tests which came out fine, HSG (hysterosalpinogram, where they shoot dye up your cervix and take x-rays) that came out fine, Dan got a sperm analysis – first one borderline, next one fine. By this time we had spent oodles of money just for testing (don’t ever use a hospital for HSG, go to the RE clinic if all possible, they hosed me for $2500). Because what sensible insurance would pay for infertility testing and treatment? :insert eyeroll: Played around with acupuncture, sperm friendly lube, herbs – stuff that basically didn’t do a hoot of difference (acu was great for my cycles, i just couldn’t afford to keep going). Finally caved and went to an RE last fall. At which point she reviews all of the above and my charts and said, “you’ve done a lot of testing, let’s try treatment and get you pregnant.” clomid IUI (where they shoot washed sperm up your cervix), 3 good follicles, $750 later, still not pregnant. The rule is 3 or 4 cycles of IUI before pursuing IVF. Turned out Dan’s sperms for that first cycle were not so hot, in fact scarily bad so we didn’t have a flying chance anyhow.
At that point we (I) threw in the towel much to Dan’s relief and focused on our relationship without the TTC cloud. I decided to consult with the RE again in march to see what else could be done; I was suspecting endometriosis at that point. She said that laparoscopy wouldn’t necessarily be the magic cure and may not show anything anyway. And would cost something like $6000-8000 in the hospital. And then she suggested another IUI with injectable drugs this time to move my ovulation up to get better quality. That would be somewhere around $1500-2000 for one cycle, depending on how many ultrasounds I needed. She also said we’d have a 60% chance of success with IVF at our age, but I don’t even want to know what that costs, something like $12-15k per cycle. And this was after deeply researching adoption and finding out what those programs cost, and thinking it wasn’t feasible right now. So I was thinking only rich people can have kids with IF, this whole thing sucks some donkey balls.
Now ensues the holding period where we try to sell our house so we can have more savings a month and then maybe we’ll have children by the time I’m 40. We recently had a buyer and it looked like things were finally moving but then he backs out; that’s for another post too. Now with my new friends at adoption4us.wordpress.com we’re starting to fundraise and I don’t care anymore if we have to get a loan. While I still want this t-shirt
I could add, “by adopting” under it. I’m tired of wasting time waiting for money to magically appear. I’m tired of watching everybody else get pregnant and adopt their babies while thinking my kids are going to be way younger than everyone else’s. So screw it and let the fundraising begin! Fun quote from another blog “if it’s His will, it’s His bill”. He will pour his blessings out to bring an orphan or two to us. God loves the orphan and He hears our hurting hearts.