The adoption

I sort of described how we got the adoption decision in my About page but it took longer to get there.  Back way up.  So back when I thought we had some control over these things, I thought we could have 2 and adopt 2.  Or just have a bunch of our own.  Once IF became a reality, I was casting about for different options and came across embryo adoption.  It seemed like the perfect thing, you save an embie from cryostorage and getting destroyed by giving them life, and you get to carry and breastfeed them yourself.  Good health and bonding is a given.  And legally you’re not required to have a homestudy or do a bunch of legal stuff, the embryos become yours at signing of the contract, which makes it tons cheaper.  So when I went to my RE for the first time I was also meaning to ask about embryo adoption.  They could do the transfer she said, but not provide the embryos for their clients.  That was fine, there’s plenty of agencies out there that handle that.  So I was getting all ready to fill out an application to an agency when Dan suddenly decided to put on the brakes.  He had a bad feeling he said.  So I put some feelers out on the web about the agency specifically.  Weeks later I get emails telling people’s horrible stories and how this agency isn’t following federal guidelines in a scary way, like advertising embryos from a known HIV+ dude, taking their money and screwing them, stuff like that.  So I said whatever, there’s other reputable agencies out there, but Dan still didn’t feel comfortable so we left it alone.  Had the IUI that didn’t work and gave up on TTC.  Then our church has a service about adoption including an interview with an adoptee and launches an adoption program with grants and support.  They invited our agency there to get people started if they were interested so we signed up and attended the initial meeting.  I went to an adoption seminar at IUPUI which was interesting and began collecting our paperwork.  The money seemed overwhelming so the idea was to sell the house to have more income so we were stalled waiting for that happen.  Which brings us up to now where I say screw the money, let’s fundraise and do what we need to do to make this happen soon.  If we wait till we have it all in our pocket, it’ll never happen.  So now I’m picking up our homestudy paperwork again, doing a fundraiser this coming weekend (see, and hopefully getting the ball rolling again!

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One Response to The adoption

  1. Cherie Kagan says:

    Loved your blog..thanks for the link to the Lingala dictionary as I will likely travel to Kinshasa in early spring and I have been working on the name thing. Are there other DRC adoptive moms out there? I’d love to meet some

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