So a day that started off terribly crappy with yet another pregnancy announcement suddenly did a 180 when Dan said I could start the process with another agency for our adoption! I hope I didn’t emotionally blackmail him, I was venting off some extreme frustration at our stalemate situation. So let the paper flurry begin! Plans for more fundraisers are well under way so the money should hopefully be flowing as well. Oh boy, I’m so excited! I was pouring solutions into the wrong bottles in the lab. Can’t wait for that first picture and bringing our baby home!
Been cruising around the photos of families with new babies home from DRC and the daddy and baby ones are too cute. I can’t share pictures but the thought of Dan holding a little baby passed out on his chest sends happy bubbles up.
Hugging our dog
He’s a loving man and I can’t wait to put a baby in his arms.
Since I’m starting a statistics class 🙂 let’s explore some other stats. So I passed 24 electronically charted cycles, officially putting me/us into another bracket. 17.3% of women in my age group experience infertility including miscarriages and unmarried women, 11% experience infertility whilst being married after a year trying (CDC). Half of those go on to find succesful treatment, and there’s only a 6% chance of naturally getting pregnant after that first year (FF). I happen to know at least 3 folks in my area who gave up on treatment before totally exhausting it. We are a teeny minority.
Adoption stats are even more telling. Only 1.1% of women 18-44 yrs old are parenting non biological children. 3.4% tooks steps and stopped, probably domestic failures (source CDC). Sooo, all those millions in the 6-7% who can’t have kids give up and stay childless? That hardly seems right. And I know a good portion of that 1.1% already has bio kids by the time they adopt, I know several in my community. So what gives? Come on folks, that should be more like 20% adopt. And even that probably still isn’t enough to cover all the orphans out there. 163-200+ MILLION orphans.
In therapy yesterday I realized something unpleasant. I blame myself to some degree for our infertility. Like my lifestyle, eating habits, something I did that caused this. There’s the big myth out there that we have control over our fertility. But really, how many birth control failures do you know about? And how many infertility cases do you know about where they did everything to pave the way? The title “Taking Control of Your Fertility” anyone? I’ve tried a lot of those stupid suggestions to get pregnant and they don’t work. Maybe that’s the key for some people but not us. We. Don’t. Have. Control. And as my lovely therapist asked, “what happens when you try to take control over something you don’t have control over?” I answered endless frustration. Acceptance is HARD. Giving up control is HARD. Surely there’s some vitamin, detox, diet, treatment…. but no. God gives babies. And His reasons can certainly be mysterious.
I definitely blame myself for not having enough money to adopt. It was me that quit my job, carelessly bought the house, continuing to live as more of a drain while I’m in school. When does the guilt stop? I’m judge and jury over myself, hence leading to my depression. Acceptance is key, which I have to work for.
We made a new friend through the article in the Flyer. Kay, who generously invited us to her house to have a tea luncheon and brainstorm fundraising ideas.
Kay by the tea table
Her home and backyard was beautiful, I particularly loved the water garden next to the sun room.
See the frog on the left of the pool
lovely table setting
Karen brought her daughter along
Kay pouring tea
Yummy cold raspberry tea
A good time was had by all and we’re brainstorming this tea party idea to go big as a fundraiser. I know all the women in my family would love it. We’ll be sharing dates and deets once we get it figured out. Until then, have a cuppa!
Just bought today. I was reading around online about the connection between sugar and depression, and also infertility as it turns out. So I went book shopping and half price didn’t have what I was looking for so I had to pay full price at B&N. Oh well. So far it looks really intriguing and I’m hoping I can get healthy and stick with it. The book I really wanted was
but I didn’t see it there. I may still order it off amazon. Clearly I’m an addict 🙂 We need an SA – sugarholics anonymous group. I have therapy tomorrow so I’ll be talking about all this with her. Seriously, I went off meds and gained 10 pounds, something’s not right.
I checked out the Paleo Diet online and was going to pick up that book. But when I flipped through it, it looked like just another quack diet based on scientific misinformation. And evolutionary principles I don’t believe in. So, we’ll try something else here.
Things are looking up on the house selling front. Perhaps some powerful intercessor prayed? 🙂 Three showings in 3 days, and the first 2 (3rd is later tonight) are asking for more details with disclosures and whatnot, so basically very interested. Rather stunning since we haven’t even had a showing in 2 or 3 weeks. My realtor said that some people aren’t getting any showings at all right now. So keep up the prayers that we can get an offer, close, and get the finances settled!
Another update! another showing tomorrow morning for a dude coming around the second time! woo hoo!